I like to spend my nights before I change into pajamas and sleep staring at the bookcase in front of me.
Behind locked doors is where I can finally be myself.
I take so many steps to avoid being caught, yet I WANT to be caught so badly.
I want to protest to my parents that I’m fine.
But I know how that always ends up.
No, Mom, you can’t help me by taking me to a therapist.
No, Dad, it’s not entirely about you.
No, Fucking-Useless-Guidance-Counselor, you can’t do anything.
You can leave me alone and let me be.
You can let me be myself.
You can let me stare at the ceiling and just let me plan my suicide that I know will never happen, because I am a coward. I am a coward who is too afraid to go down to the basement. So I’ll just live out my days. Thank you.
2 comments
I agree. My parents think that if I have depression or anxiety or desire to end it… that they can just take me to doctor or a psycho ward and make them stuff PILLs in my mouth that will fix everything.
But it does not work,, not permanently anyway. Yes, those places can help people get through current mental trauma..,, but they do not correct a persons whole life.
Some of us are carrying around a whole lot of issues that we have been dealing with for many years…. but some pills do not solve the issues. Pills to not solve ongoing lonliness, Pills do not solve a person who feels like they do not fit in anywhere in life. Pills do not bring permanent happiness to somebody who has been depressed and unhappy in life for a long time and cant seem to find it.
So this > lets just take him to a doctor and the pills will stop the depression and fix everything
Its bullshit. Some people are very unhappy in life and cannot ever get to a place where they are happy. Some people do not fit in anywhere in life.
Some people have issues that are so deep and ongoing for so long that the burden of it all is just to much to bear.
Some people have done a lot of messed up things in life and the social anxiety of those things eats them alive. Some people have circumstance to overcome in life….but do not have enough resources to overcome them and get happy.
My belif is that some people just need to end it.
I think more people in life should just accept that > instead of trying to keep people alive who really do not want to be alive anymore
I think some people have the right to a peaceful departure from life if they have been dealing with tremendous hardships for a long long time and have no hope of ever being happy in life
I stick up for the right of people in those situations to have a way to exit if that is what they desire.
thanks for your post
Glad I got someone here that agrees with me. Like honestly. Giving me a pep talk isn’t going to fucking solve my problems. Showing me pictures of other people that have cut doesn’t do a damn thing. Honestly. Like goddammit society, I thought we were supposed to be advanced.
<3