I don’t know why, I feel like I want to share, to ‘let soemthing out’, comment on my situation maybe, or others, the world’s? Ask for help? I feel like I want to reach out, then, I draw a blank, whether it’s here or in real life, I go cold, numb, empty but confused and saddened at the same time, anyone else feel like this?
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I don’t know if you also meant this, but I can’t count the times I have wanted or even tried to post something in here but ended up not doing it, either leaving the page blank, erasing everything or just archiving it to finish my thought later which never happens.
Yeah, I do that too, IRL too, when I feel like I wanna be honest with soemone, but just have nothing to say, or no way to start
I have so many times I posted something about me and immediately deleted mostly because I wasn’t able to explain myself right. And because I felt it was best to keep everything in even though I’m basically an anonymous but if I do kill myself someone will be reading this from my account and I don’t want to really point fingers at anyone in my family to feel responsible. I love this op
With people I experience it mostly among my family and sometimes among my friends. I feel that I want to say something, but I don’t see the point in it. Honesty is something that is starting to be pushed aside in my life. I am worried by how much I have started lying, just to avoid confrontations. I used to say about me that I don’t lie that much and if I do, it’s merely omitting the truth, but now I just lie to people’s face so they don’t get angry with me, dissapointed or let down. I can’t even promise anything to anyone anymore because I would just lie again. So I just keep quiet and let others do the talking, while feeling guilty just by their presence.
Yup, happens. Sometimes in “real life” i’ve wanted to reach out to people, but i just stop. Not because i’m afraid of their reaction, but more because nothing would change, they can’t help with my issues… maybe it’d be a temporary relief, but that is not worth getting them worried.
And yeah, i can’t even remember the many times i’ve written a full post in here, only to delete it before posting it.