3 reasons why I haven’t tried to end it all:
1. A. She is the reason for every decision that I make because I want her to be okay and happy. She’s the kind of girl that only comes around once in a lifetime and even though I don’t deserve it, I don’t want to passbook up the opportunity of calling her mine forever.
2. I want to prove my dad wrong. I want to graduate and go to the college of my choice. I want to marry A and grow old with her. I want to get my degree and show him that I am good enough. I want to show him that I am good enough to do things that he doesn’t think I can do.
3. I’m afraid of missing out on the day that I don’t feel useless and not good enough anymore. I think I could feel that way someday. I have my bad days but for the most part, this past year, A has helped me so much with making me believe that I am good enough and I have done a lot of things that I didn’t believe I could do. I don’t want to miss the day that even the bad days are just a distant memory and I’m not struggling to fight my depression anymore. I just want to be happy:)
3 comments
Exact same reasons I had to continue on living. Fight for these reasons and hopefully they can become real. Lastly I would tell you to never wait to feel “good enough” considering you have proven yourself many times the infinite capacity to achieve past results and more. Wish you the best on your journey man!
I think this beautiful…I wish you much hope dude!
It is definitely good to have goals, something to focus on and work towards… that can help sometimes cause it gives you a purpose and reason for living…. and that is what soooooo many people here are lacking…. exactly those things…. but I wouldn’t go putting all your eggs in A’s basket though, you gotta live for yourself and your own happiness too, not just to make her happy. That’s really important. You both should bring out the best in each other and be mindful of each others happiness throughout the relationship, although I do believe YOU are responsible at the end of the day for your own happiness… no one else is. That’s why to live for yourself sometimes is very important. I hope you accomplish all you strive to do!