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January 10th, 2017

by kellinandrew

I told him i wanted to kill myself. That i even planned it out for that night. I think im falling back into my old eating disorder habits, especially since i checked my weight. I feel like a waste of space and i know he loves me, but it feels like he is the only one. Is there anyone else who cares, I know suicide is a selfish thing, the most selfish thing, a person can do to another. But sometimes it seems like the only option. What to do.. what to do…

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9 comments

sadlife958 1/10/2017 - 9:24 pm

I feel everything that you are right now. Lucky you have someone i got no one zero. I am very motivated to end it I just need the right moment I know all will be gone when I go and that’s what I want no more. But I have no one to tell since I’ve been single my whole life I shoulda visited Japan maybe it’s still not to late before I go

kellinandrew 6/17/2017 - 1:29 am

You have someone, we may not know not each other at all. But I care and I will be here for you. No matter what. Email me if you EVER and I mean EVER need anything. And that also goes for anyone reading this. My email is cgreenawalt0420@gmail.com

Mf 1/10/2017 - 9:43 pm

Yeah, it can be considered as selfish, but in a way we’re all alone in life even if we share it with other people. That said, i’ve always thought that it’s more of a “I WANT to live for that person” than actually doing it for them, so that’s actually selfish too. I guess that what i’m saying is that whatever you end up doing, it’s your choice that really matters.

kellinandrew 4/14/2017 - 12:53 pm

Look if you ever need anyone, I will always be here for you. I may not know you, but I can be here no matter what. Email me if you ever need anything and I mean anything. cgreenawalt0420@gmail.com

willsgone 1/11/2017 - 11:58 am

I finally read something that made sense to me. When those ppl that dont understand the pain someone is in…, isn’t it selfish of THEM that they want them to stick around.? It made sense to me as I am in pain and want to get off this shitty ride

jadedjewel 1/16/2017 - 8:14 pm

I think sometimes people hope that if you stick around something might come along to make things better for you and pull you out of the darkness, but those who don’t suffer from mental illness don’t understand that most depression isn’t situational, it’s a disorder and comes in waves. For some people it is as simple as getting a job when they are unemployed or finding a significant other when they are single. For most though it is so much more complex than that and people just don’t and can’t and probably never will truly understand it…. how can you unless you know exactly how it feels?… all the pain, the struggle, the suffering.
It’s human nature to want your loved ones with you and keep them close and a part of your life… it’s how we’re made… I don’t know that it’s being selfish, it’s a form of love and part of being human.

kellinandrew 4/14/2017 - 12:55 pm

I understand how you feel, and I hate to say this. But try to pul through and make it out of this dark time, you can do it. I will be here for you. I will be here for anyone who needs or wants it

jadedjewel 1/16/2017 - 8:01 pm

I don’t think suicide is selfish…. not at all. I get that people left behind get upset and never get over it. But to me mental illness is a disease like cancer. Sure there are treatments, but not everyone gets cured. We allow people to stop their cancer treatments when treatment fails… so mental illness should be treated and respected the same way. We don’t shame people who choose not to go another round of chemo and rather let the cancer take them. To me mental illness is like a cancer of the brain… sometimes it can’t be cured and is sometimes far worse than any physical disease to deal with.

kellinandrew 4/14/2017 - 12:54 pm

Look if you ever need anyone, I will always be here for you. I may not know you, but I can be here no matter what. Email me if you ever need anything and I mean anything. cgreenawalt0420@gmail.com

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