The doctors fucked me up on meds. Forced me to take antidepressants after id already had serotinin syndrome…then i smoked a load with the stress, and had oxygen after to try and fix things…causing more damage, a day in the life of me is like imagine wearing earmuffs, with a car alarm sound 24/7, while your vision is like a home video recording shaking, with the brightness on zero and color turned down, with a bad aerial connection, and you have lead weights strapped to your arms and legs and a jug of water on your head….my little fingers hurt and dont move properly, and i have constant tinnitus 24/7 high pitched…
I cant listen to music, i cant watch tv, i cant exercise or ride a bike, i can barely look after myself….
Then every doctor or family or friend tells you it’s not real and in your mind, to take more drugs, and youre EXHAUSTED constantly due to coping with it…
I had a brilliant life before taking one antideprssant pill that f**ked me up so much
I ended up going to a psych ward where i was tortured and spat out in this state…
I cannot imagine living the rest of my life like this, im only 39….
I was an audio electronics engineer and university lecturer now reduced to a disabled tramp, and the mental health services have the cheek to make it so if i complain i’ll be locked up again…i wasnt ILL till i took the AD pill!
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And this is why I fear meds…. I am so sorry this happened to you. What med specifically are you blaming here if you don’t mind me asking? I am thinking of trying therapy and possibly meds too so am curious about your experience.
This was from Zoloft, I had taken St Johns wort a week before….it said don’t take them together but not how long to leave it….
They forced me to take more SSRIs and antipsychotics too at the highest doses in hospital, murderers basically…. I told them I’d had a bad reaction 🙁
Avoid meds at all costs if you can
I’d like to if possible… some of the basic side effects of some of these meds are pretty scary never mind what you went through…. it just really sucks that the help you try to get can make things so much worse in some cases. Where is that person supposed to turn then? In your situation I probably would be very suicidal too. My heart breaks for you, it’s awful to have no choice for life but that.
So the St. John’s wort, were you taking that as opposed to actual medication and was that after you being diagnosed with serotonin syndrome? What drug/ drugs caused you to be diagnosed with the syndrome?
Sorry for the inquisition I just find your case really intriguing. I don’t mean to treat you like a science experiment or freak cause you aren’t. It’s just mind boggling that a person can take so messed up physically from what was supposed to be help.
It was the combination of increased serotonin caused by the St Johns wort and then the SSRI (which blocks serotonin from being reabsorbed) that caused me it have serotonin syndrome. The problem is I didn’t go to hospital after the fit, because I got well on my own after a few hours. I didn’t know I was still being poisoned because serotonin levels in my brain were now constantly high. This caused scary neurological problems that sent me into a very deep depression.
When I went to the hospital I did not know about serotonin syndrome, I just told them about the health issues, and they presumed I was delusional.
They put me on more serotonin boosting drugs. The fits and horror that followed caused that much anxiety in me that I also chain smoked which caused a lot of damage I think.
I don’t know exactly what caused these problems, but I am now that totally disabled by it and it’s a death sentence. No doctor still believes what HELL I’m in 🙁
I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are completely right this is all to do with the medications that have caused these severe reactions. You can recover. go to http://survivingantidepressants.org/ which helps thousands like you. I am a survivor from this too and had severe reactions when withdrawing. I had seizures, hallucinations, pains…..it lasted months and I’m still recovering but I have improved massively. YOU CAN RECOVER this is not permenant but you need to slowly wean off the drugs or STAY off them. DONT be pressured to try other drugs because this causes even more damage. LOTS of people have recovered from this and you can to.
once, after i had changed physicians, and i was begging for meds out of desperation to try and get better, and my doc wetn over my medical history and such, and you know, used his brain and started to run some tests on me do some checkups, he told me,
he would happily prescribe me more anti depressants and antipsychotics, mood “stabilizers”(lol great fucking label invention on that BigPharma), but, he felt obligated to tell me that it would likely do me no good at this point, and would likely only experience side effects, and that a bunch of them were in fact only 40% effect,.. AT BEST!!!
40% effective and that shit gets popped like candy and prescribed willy nilly by the majority of doctors for any minor reason or excuse, when if something only has a 40% succes rate in other aspects, it gets deemed NOT FUCKIGN WORTHY for humans,
and yet the regulation on this shit is more lapse than condoms or toothpaste, despite the list of sideeffects are 3miles long, with some pretty major and sever ones at that
nothing like having god damn suicidal tendencies as a side effect on the drug supposed to treat your depression, or other side effects that are actually the symptoms of depression.
Can we please agree to not fucking approval stamp drugs that has “death” as a side effect, especially on drugs with less than a fuckin coin flip toss chance of success Mr politician???
Its like going to the mechanic for an oilchange and he shoots up the car to drain the oil, sure shit will leak out, pretty damn effective, but probably doesn’t mean it’s the best fcnk way to handle the situation..
anyways, after that conversation with my, thankfully good doc, my eyes had opened up completely, and i’ve been off meds for a good while, i’m not “better”, but neither was i on meds, in fact worse at times, so while i’m not “better”, i’m still better than if were still taking the drugs
yet still despite it, i won’t completely discourage people from taking meds, because, while 40% or less is a shitty result, it’s still good enough for some, and they do help some, and for some even “desperate” measures can be worth the try
but fuck me do people need to keep their doc in check, and stay informed every step of the way, and not be afraid to say “no, not THAT shit”
@ random: so it sounds like it was some misunderstanding, miscommunication, lack of knowledge and experience, both not your fault or clinical staff fault to a certain degree at hand that kind of got you in the place you are now. It sucks that the drs think it’s ” all in your head”. This is affecting your every day life and existence in such a horrifying way. I can’t even imagine the frustration in dealing with what you are dealing with. I wish I had advice that would help but for once I am speechless.
@ Snorlax: This is why meds kind of freak me out. We are living in a day where there’s new drugs on the market being pushed by drs it seems daily. The side effects are terrifying. Like you said, who wants medication for depression that makes you MORE suicidal than without it. I will take lying in bed for a week sleeping half the day awayover thinking constantly about hanging myself or crying with a knife to my throat…. no freaking pill is worth THAT. I think these newer drugs are the most dangerous. I mean how much do they REALLY know about them or the long term effects of being on them. If I agree to try meds, my plan is going with mildest med first and lowest dosage possible to start and work from there and no dr is going to push me into it either or I will just walk. This is too important and serious to me to let them just railroad me into god knows what because it’s the ” drug du jour”… and your right if you aren’t getting a majority of the benefit it’s supposed to give what’s the point. The whole thing really scares me, but I feel like my issues are majorly chemical imbalance related, not just situational or environmental. I have just heard so many horror stories about meds and crazy side effects. I don’t want to be one of them!
I don’t want to die but am forced to now. It’s just toouch to handle my quality of life is so terrible.
Being alive is like punishment now because I am witnessing all the opportunities of a great life I had yet can no longer participate, it’s torture what these drugs and doctors have done.
I’m planning to either hang myself or BBQ in a tent, I have no other options. I wake up every day in this HELL, I know once done I won’t be around to endure thus pain so need to get it over with. What a terrible burden to be put under….I loved life 🙁
Feel so bad for you Random and here I am whining about my problems. It is amazing how these so called meds mess you up worse. I ended up needing something to help me sleep and they gave me some ambien knock off called zolpidem and it ended up helping to destroy my marriage. I hope you find peace and no pain with whatever decision you make. I feel each person should be allowed and should be thought of as honorable for them to decide their time to go.
hi Im not sure if this will help you but I had a similar experience with meds and I recovered with daily b12 injections (and cofactors like electrolytes, iron and folic acid taken as needed). I had to figure it out on my own cause no body believed me.
whatever the cause, I hope you get it sorted soon. Nothing is more frustrating than taking somwthing thats supposed to heal and only having it do more harm
Thanks for the responses. Well the job is done it’s hard to get motivated…
I have confirmed hearing loss ruining my career and life in the music industry.
And the fact I can’t keep my eyes still… How to cope with that? Will it go away??
I had HAIR SAMPLE analysis showing excess free radical production and some toxins…
An MRI showing asymmetric optic nerve sheaths
Hearing tests showing loss
Vestibular test showing slight nerve problems
Could it have been CO poisoning?
If my eyes would stop moving I’d give life a chance but that is ridiculously debilitating… Will it go away? I doubt it..
I’m sentenced to death for the crime of going to get help from my doctor. No doctor is interested when I show them the results of tests.
I’ve been OFF meds for 4 months now, surely the eye thing can’t be withdrawal? I was forced to take BENZOS for about 2 months about 6 months ago tho…
The eye wobble started when I was heavily smoking and withdrawing from mirtazapene…
It’s just a disaster. They took my liberty, forced antidepressants, antipsychotics, benzos, and tortured me, after id already got serotonin poisoning. Then I smoked heavily with so much fear… It’s like a half slow suicide unfinished… I’m trapped now having to finish the job, I loved life and wanted to live, I had no objective other than to try and get help with the serotonin poisoning in the first place…