I was wondering why you guys did become suicidel?
If anyone is interested this is my story ..
The first time I became suicidel was about a year ago. I was already a little bit depressed but nothing much. On a friday night I went to a sort of homeparty together with my best friend for over 10 years. We were just chilling, having a good time and then suddenly he was acting strange. But I didn’t gave it much attention at the time. an hour or two went by and he was acting even more stranger than before, so i asked him what was wrong and then i noticed that he was just drinking to much. after that he wanted to talk to me in private, so i went with him, he started to touch me and tried to kiss me, but it was not what i wanted so i pushed him away. i shouldn’t have done that cause he got real mad, like real mad. he started yelling and hitting. he was yelling to me ‘youre a slut, i know you want this, you are always on me always asking for attention , you always want to be with me” and so on and so on and so on..
I got scared so i wanted to leave but then he pushed me against the wall and was trying to rape me. he riped my clothes of and started touching me on my private parts. thank god that someone came in looking for the toilet so i could go. after that we never spoke again, he told all of his friends that i was a slut , attention seeker, depressed little fuck girl and so a lot of people started to believe him and were hitting on me
i never told anyone what really happend that night, cause i’m ashamed. did i really seek for his attention? was it my fault that he felt this way and that he thought that i wanted him? i don’t know, after a year i still don’t know.
since then i got even more depressed, and that is when i got suicidel. now almost a year later i’m doing better, i finished highschool and i’m now in my first year of college. everything is going great and i met some lovely people. but it’s still really hard to trust people, like really hard