I’m down. Really down. I can hold my smile again in front of others again. You would never believe how sad i felt if you talked to me. I keep crashing when home. I want to scream. I don’t know what to do. Question after question about how i feel when i don’t know myself. i Cant think of reasons . i want to just scream I’m sad. Im sad I’m sad I’m sad. i want to die i want die i want to die. I want to die so bad. but i can’t its terrible I’m just stuck i don’t know how to answer people i can’t explain myself . trapped in my head. i can’t solve things this time I’m stuck .I want to be gone. i want to destroy myself. I have reasons but its just confusing I’m just stuck.They don’t make sense. I can’t give answers to people. i feel fake. Unreal. Maybe I’m well. Maybe i am sane. i just want to die for the sake i don’t know. i just hurt. Im just sad. I don’t know anymore. Help. please. Someone read my mind. Look inside and see for yourself because my mouth can’t word the feelings.Its torture. i want for them to know how i feel but i can’t. i type this while crying. i can’t anymore i don’t know anymore. help. i ask help knowing no one can. Why. Let me scream.
((Sorry this was just a huge train of thought. Spelling and grammar will be terrible I just had to splurge somewhere. I have so many drafts but I’m scared to post I don’t know why. Im just stupid. I don’t know anymore. I know nothing))
3 comments
i read your post from start to finish, i can feel your pain, life can be one big disappointment after another and it truly feels like giving up is the easiest relief. I wanna talk to you and perhaps we can find out who you are together.
You are stuck right now Present. That feeling can bring up panic. Breathe as slow and deep as you can. Hardly anyone feels safe talking about fear and death and suicide. Here is a place where you can. All of us can. You’ll notice the difference between talking to people here and talking to(probably) most of the people you know.
you probably know the difference already. 🙂