I’m down. Really down. I can hold my smile again in front of others again. You would never believe how sad i felt if you talked to me. I keep crashing when home. I want to scream. I don’t know what to do. Question after question about how i feel when i don’t know myself. i Cant think of reasons . i want to just scream I’m sad. Im sad I’m sad I’m sad. i want to die i want die i want to die. I want to die so bad. but i can’t its terrible I’m just stuck i don’t know how to answer […]
Present
Does anyone else always get sad during New Years. Despite this being the most shittiest year of my life so far I still feel so much sadness that another year ends. I’m too scared to have optimism for 2017 as I’m scared it’s going to get crushed and be left disappointed for another year. New Years is not a happy time for me and I don’t know why. My emotions are everywhere and I just lose all understanding it doesn’t make sense. My friends didn’t invite me for a second year in row to New Years party. I must be a massive *****. I don’t […]
I fucked up my life and now I’m watching it burn. Whats the point carrying on meaninglessly ?
it sucks. There’s always someone prettier,funnier,smarter and nicer. I guess I’m jeleous really and just being cold hearted. I understand you can never be the best but it hurts still. Constantly devastated over the fact your friends are beautiful and will always gets the guys. No one will ever give me a chance. Nobody wants the frizzy Curly head weirdo but instead wants the stunning girl with the beautiful blue eyes and long dark hair. It makes sense. No matter what people say looks sadly matter. Nobody looks on the inside anymore. I’m 16 going on 17 and haven’t kissed,hugged or ever been in a […]
I’m sad. More sad than I have ever been. I’ve stared at my roof and tossed back and forth for days now. I thought the tears would stop eventually but they keep coming back. I guess I know I’m feeling something and not numb. This deep sadness and anxiety has changed me too much. I can’t return to routine. I was happiest with my friends, they were my world. We have so many memories and have offered to help but I refuse. I push away the ones I love most it’s a horrible cycle. I’ve excluded myself for months now due to the fear of […]
I don’t understand myself I feel fake and unreal. I’m frightened I don’t know why I’m here. I write this in panic I feel stuck. I’m sad but I can’t describe the sadness but it’s destroying me I can’t do ordinary things and live life properly. I’m scared but I can’t describe the fear its leaves me afraid. I don’t want to communicate with people I want to stay safe at home. I not ready to go back to routine of school,socialising and ordinary life I’m too scared and down to do so. I cant keep up with the rest of the world […]
Doctors are useless. They look at me as if I’m crazy ,as if I’m not worthy of their time. They question why I do the things I do. I run. I run from things. Literally. I don’t know why it’s just what I do.They look confused at me as if I’m the biggest freak and weirdo they have ever saw. They referred me to someone. A Counsellor….I feel as if they are more useless. I can’t speak my feelings I can’t voice them verbally. I go into baby mode and mumble and stutter my words while a stranger stares at me like I’m a freak. […]
Why do all my worst thoughts happen at night? During the day I’m not much better however at night my emotions heighten. My darkest thoughts are at night. I think too deeply about everything and spiral into bad thoughts. During the night is when I’m closest to finally ending it, but never do as I remind myself of how desperately I don’t want my thoughts to overrule me. All my feelings become too real at night, I get too close to doing bad things. I don’t sleep during the night I don’t like to. I have too many things to think about instead […]
Why do i still love my father? he continuously emotionally and physically harms me however he always tell me he loves me and would do anything in the world for me. He promises me he won’t do it again. but does. He is a very happy man and anybody who met him would never believe he could act in such an abusive manner. I love him more than anything as he has taught me so much and makes me smile. He has always protected me and can be a good father at times however, whenever we make process in our relationship we suddenly fall out […]
I don’t know whats wrong with me? I have difficulty understanding and explaining myself properly. I seem to never be able to speak out exactly whats wrong with me. My writing may seem jumbled up and not make much sense as I’m bad a explain and grammar but i will try.
Over the years i have felt “strange” like there is always something sad underlying inside me but ignoring it as i felt everything was fine and there was no reason to be unhappy. This became worse and worse and felt like this sadness is still creeping up on me but still ignoring it as once […]