i am so sick of living. so sick of people and family pretending they care about me only to later say i’m playing the victim or cast me aside or be angry with me and not care about what i’m going through. i cannot take this anymore. in and out of psych units. on meds for the rest of my life. i don’t wanna do it. i’m going through so much shit and no one cares. my therapist left me. everyone leaves me.
anyway. i’m absolutely broke. i have no job, no means to acquire the more foolproof ways to peace out of this shit world.
i do have a lot of ambien and ativan i’ve been stockpiling in case i could use it for a way out. i know those alone aren’t enough. i know adding alcohol is still iffy too.
and i thought about a bathtub drowning added with the meds & alcohol?? i’m wondering if i take enough would it render me completely unconscious and let me drown painlessly.
i just don’t want to fail and end up brain dead. cause i’m going out no matter what, i just want to make it painless and foolproof cause i’m kind of a dummy
1 comment
Chestaley : Likely you’ll go unconscious and might drown.. it’s not a fullproof method. Iam able to relate to you a lot by looking at your posts. This is like, I myself am writing these posts. I understand what you’re going through with the family. I’m giving myself some time until I decide I need to do it. This isn’t getting any better I am getting more and more sick day after day. Since this is your first post on a forum I welcome you here but I’m no one to welcome you just a fucking poster. I’m same age as you. I have a cliff three thousand feet high but I am afraid of falling on my legs. Making a fool. You’ll find some understanding and non judgemental people here. There’s low traffic these days otherwise there’s mostly a reply to new posts. I know you’re hurting too much. You’ll find a way.