I am a 49 year old man who has been married for 27 years on March 31st. I have suffered from chronic pain for many years, has several surgeries. I lost my company in 2009 when the final injury happened and now am on long term disability. I already didn’t feel like a man so when my wife had an affair in 2013, I thought life was over. Somehow things worked out but I found out yesterday, there is a new guy. She blames me for it. She blames my disease. She said she deserves to be happy, she didn’t sign up to take care of me. Not only do I rely on her for income, health insurance etc…she is my life. Ive been with her since I was 18 and cannot watch her leave. I was already depressed and tired of the medication but this I think ..I want to die but I don’t. If I die, all the pain is gone. My son is getting married in October and that kills me that I may not be there. Sorry for being all over the place, I just want to sleep and not wake up. I want her to hurt like shes done to me. I am thinking about trying with propane gas since I am too much of a coward to shoot myself. Thank for reading this
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
9 comments
Sorry for your situation, I’m about to kill myself as well because I pretty much lost everything in my life myself.
but exactly how are you planning to use the propane gas for suicide? I dont understand. I never heard of that way before. You can email me at spiniker07@protonmail.com if you don’t want to discuss it on here. But Im really curious
Your story is sad but it is pretty common occurrence. After reading the first sentence I could pretty much tell the whole story without reading it.
Don’t worry, no matter what you do, she is not gonna hurt.
By the way, those are the only two guys you know of.
I wish you the best even though I have no idea how you will manage this.
She didn’t sign up to take care of you but I bet if it was her in your shoes, she would expect you to take care of her.
As always, it is when you have nothing that you find out about people.
Consider an open relationship. Don’t kill yourself.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve found yourself in this situation. It’s one of those where you can’t think of any way it can get worse. Anyway, I just want to say a couple things. Firstly, her blaming you is just an excuse. It’s a way of making her feel better about what she done. It’s obviously not your fault. Also, I implore you to stay long enough so that you can, at least, attend your son’s wedding. Stay strong for your son, and for yourself. O and I think you should let go of any revenge fantasies. In the end of the day, it’ll only destroy yourself. Wanting to hurt others through offing yourself is never a good idea.
Sorry that I couldn’t have said anything actually useful. Maybe you should file for a divorce. Even at 49, one is never too old to start over. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.
Your story really hit me in the heart because it’s so similar to what happened to my brother, who died of an accidental Rx drug OD.
I apologize for picking on your wife here, but when she married you she DID sign up to stand by you and take care of you. She said it her vows. Marriage is a promise to put the other person first and no one simply “deserves” to have whatever they want in life.
Sometimes when a person is a lot of emotional pain they cannot see all of the options that are available to them, which is understandable. Since you’re not sure that you want to die, please sit down, try to cut through the emotional overload, and give logical thought to options that may help you. I can see why you would want to stick around for your son’s wedding, and I imagine he wants you around too. I watch my daughter get married a little over a year ago, and it was nice to be here for that.
*watched
Sorry for your situation, I’m about to kill myself as well because I pretty much lost everything in my life myself.
but exactly how are you planning to use the propane gas for suicide? I dont understand. I never heard of that way before. You can email me at spiniker07 @ protonmail.com if you don’t want to discuss it on here. But Im really curious
Thank you everyone. It’s been a very hard weekend. I’m still here and trying to save what’s left of life. I’m sorry to head about brother Mysterious, I lost my brother at 19 also and know that pain. John, I had read about inhaling it when you go to sleep but I think I’ll do it with heroin. I never have done it, know where to get it and figure one double dose will be quick and painless.
Someone mentioned he 2 I know of, yeah…..that’s been on my mind. Has our entire marriage been a lie. I worked 80 hour weeks building a business my entire life, broke my spine and all so her and the kids would have everything. My heart jut aches. I haven’t eaten since finding out, throwing up even coffee. I’ve smoked so much the COPD has built up mucus in my chest so it causes me to get sick. I am a wreck.
Sad part is, I want to live but I thought it would be with her. Having grand kids. All that and just know I dont have it in me to do it alone. I just don’t understand how you leave someone because of a disease. Maybe I would if the shoe was on the other foot but I think I am a moral caring person that wouldn’t…but who knows.
Anyway, thank you so much everyone. You cannot understand how much just being able to talk to strangers about it has helped some. I truly appreciate your words
TragedyofJohn, sorry I meant to respond. Losing everything as far as material stuff…we can get that back. If its emotional, i thnk that’s harder but I encourage you to stick around. Talk to people. While it may not change the final outcome, it does help in the short term. Hang in there