Lost cause

Life is indeed difficult to keep up with, you’re not alone there.

Your thoughts are your thoughts, they’re valid and never “pathetic”

I get it, life is not worth living if you’re not enjoying yourself, you ask yourself “to what end?” Suicide is one option for reprieve, most people here have thought it, an instant way out.
I ask myself though, why am I not enjoying life, if circumstance changes would I enjoy life?
Suicidal is final, with it goes all options to find answers and ways of changing circumstance.
I think that as the outcomes are so contrasting, every attempt must be made to find a way of living first, the option for suicide will always be there, whether we take it tomorrow or in 30 years. Life is a bit more fickle.

You allude to loneliness in your comment, showing insight and a potential cause which can be addressed.