In my home we have two types of codeine that sit in a cupboard. It has taken all the willpower I have to not take a handful and pray for a sense of euphoria. But in reality I didn’t want that euphoria. It was something I thought about so I would help myself. I realised the euphoria I hoped for wouldn’t exist in my lifetime and I would only ever feel the mental decay in which I suffered deeply….. This is a place I never want to go back to after years of help. No amount of codeine, hurting myself, suicide and self hatred will ever compare to the daily sense of euphoria I feel knowing I am no longer a slave to my mind.