broke down and cried..

  May 5th, 2017 by death bunny

my kid was taking his afternoon nap, my girlfriend was smoking outside, and this gut clenching feeling came to me as so often. only this time i went to the bedroom, got my pillow and went to my study, dropped the pillow on the floor and laid my head on it. and then i exploded. this scenario might sound odd, but if you’re living in circles like me, sometimes you have to do odd things to break them, so i just learned.

back when i got my diagnosis, depression’s all i had. before my kid was born, and before i met my girlfriend. back then i used to be the one who took afternoon “depression” naps. in my childhood home, in my room, on the floor, with a pillow. and a set of headphones.

i’d say i cried for a good twenty minutes. my kid woke up and my girlfriend played with him in the next room (he’s 1.5 years old). i wanted to hug him so bad so i stepped out of the room and he dropped his toy and ran up to hug me and once again i teared up.

Last time I cried was about a year ago. It was good letting all this steam out. Wish it would happen more often.

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