I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder some years back but I refused to accept that. To me the issues that plagued me were controllable. Medicine wasn’t a solution but rather hard work and effort was. I took meds for awhile and I remember feeling like I couldn’t react emotionally. I was seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist regularly and I don’t feel like it really helped me. I felt like I was better like I was just in a bipolar situation not that I was bipolar. In my mind there was nothing wrong with me, I didn’t need or want to be fixed. But it makes sense my mood swings still exist only they are more subtle. I feel unhappy deep down and I’m only happy sometimes. I don’t know how to completely save myself, I’ve done so much already. I have given myself a future and made myself happier than I have ever been, yet it isn’t enough. I’m not all better there was a flaw and there is still sadness and emptiness every time my mind is allowed to wonder.