Started my first day of work, just sat at a computer all day doing on-line tutorials. I going to have some expensive bills to pay. Gotta paid to get my eyes check, and hopefully pass a physical. My blood pressure can not be any higher than 140/90, which it isn’t usually. It happened only one time, but I was eating unhealthy, smoking cigarettes, been angry the past few days, and was very nervous getting my blood pressure checked. I could feel my heart rate go up, then it was 140/92, but after that my other checks have been healthy. One time, I even got low blood pressure, but I feel nervous about not passing this physical, so better safe than sorry. I must limit my soda intake, restaurant food, eat healthy, and exercise. No smoking for now.
Then I worry about explaining my mental illness because the form said that you may be disqualified if you have major depression, and psychosis, which I have been diagnosed at Tuckers. Why major depression? I can understand the military not wanting to take you, but to drive a truck? Something always goes wrong, so I’m not holding my breath. I’m not taking any medicine right because my health insurance is all screwed up, so I’m worry that might disqualify me. I’m never qualified for anything. People just look at me and know that I’m screwy.
Then I have car insurance to pay, and have to save up for a psychiatric evaluation for disability, and those are costly. I want a higher salary job to live comfortable, but I guess I don’t have the right mental mind. I use to be criticized at the previous job for things that I did that were off such as having jerky motion, and sometimes looking like I don’t enjoy life. I was told that I sometimes look like I’m on drugs, and it’s really bad when I don’t get enough sleep because then eyes get all red. A doctor can tell that I’m not on illegal drugs. Lack of sleep makes my mood worse.
This job, I promised not to socially interact with anyone. It will decrease my chances of being sexually harassed, and won’t make me to attach to my job. Co-workers will throw you under the bus if it benefits them. I can’t deal with people. My nerves can’t handle it. I can help customers, but for the love of Prime, let them keep their comments to themselves. At lunch, I go straight to my car. Breaks not sure whether you can go to your car, but if not, I’ll skip my breaks. I’m not planning on staying at this job very long, anyway. Plus, it is a temporary job.