I’ll attempt not to make this post super long. I’ve been a part of this site for a long time now. I come and go really. But anyways… I have spoke to many people on this site from all over the world. I’ve tried to offer my advice and personal experience or just be someone to talk to. I understand how you all feel because I was once there as well. I hate that sentence really because no one knows EXACTLY what you’re feeling and people who claim to understand you, I think we can all agree, make you sick. But… I think I have a pretty good idea. We all found this site some way right?
Back to the point, I like to reach out and be there for you all. I have found many ways to cheer myself up and like to think I’m doing fairly well these days. And if I can offer any help to you then that’s awesome. Ummm in my life I have seen a lot. More than the average person has. I deal with death very, very frequently and have dealt with suicide on a number of occasions. I’ve held bodies in my arms and had blood all over my hands. Not to be too gruesome but just letting you know I’m not going to bullshit you and tell you it’s ok and it will all be butterflies and rainbows one day because that’s just not life.
Sooo, if you would like someone to talk to, get advice if you want, or just know someone is listening on the other end, feel free to email me. I welcome all, male or female, young or old, and I’ll do my best to be that someone there for you. My email is 2sadhappy@gmail.com. I’m at 29 year old male by the way, just so you have some idea of who you are contacting. I look forward to hearing from you all.
4 comments
Can you say in a nutshell what your strategy for surviving suicide is? I’ll try anything once but I’ll forewarn you I’ve tried all the usual things we’re told by textbooks, therapists, and suicide hotlines.
I don’t think it’s a simple answer. I think it’s a process of elimination. What works for me may not for you but I’d be willing to help you find what works. What exactly have you tried and what has led you to contemplating suicide. I think both those things will give me a better idea.
Based on bits I’ve read in your posts we might have a few things in common which is why I’m interested in your approach. If I had to explain the royal mess of my brain in 100 words or less, I’d say I’ve seen too many horrible things happen to others and I was/am powerless to stop it. My own life, pretty average, not great, not lousy. But I’m consumed by violent images, death and injustice, that I can’t forget even if I wanted to. I’ve tried talking to others like me, and across the board it’s their faith in god or some greater purpose that gets them through the day. That doesn’t work for me. So I tried distractions (a completely different line of work), therapy and pills. Aside from a few blissful days bombed off my ass followed by gut wrenching withdrawal, no results. So I started reading this site. It helps some days, others not. Figured out a pretty quick way to end it by reading the news. No immediate plans, but I’m a pretty impulsive guy so you never know. Well that’s basically my entire existence. Pretty lame huh.
No it’s not lame at all. I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say you were military. Correct me if I’m wrong. Either way, we all deal with death differently. If you are military then we are similar but not the same. I am not military so the death I saw most the time was not of people I knew. Most the time. But I have seen some pretty insane scenes. I have to add that 99% of the time, death is not something that troubles me at work. My brain goes into work mode and I move on right after. It’s like a block, time to work then back to making memories in normal life. Anyways, distractions are great. You just need to find the right ones. Pills make you numb but they don’t fix it. Therapy is ehhh, not the best. Depends where and who is helping you. And religion, don’t worry I’m the last the offer up that. Distractions work when they are what you want, what you like. You’re not going to distract yourself with something that feels like a chore or it’s fucking boring or a hassle. The trick is enjoy the distraction to the point that it’s no longer a distraction. It’s just what you love to do and your life if filled with that, then there is no room for the rest. Before i ramble on more, per example. What would you say is your favorite thing? What is your favorite thing to do or just gets you hyped up or feeling good?