I need a short break from this site. I’m starting to get so OCD or too obsessed about it that it’s making me rip my hair out. Yes, this web-site relaxes me, so the break won’t be long like two days max. XD I got contracted myself. Plus, the internet is getting slow, so I need to fix it.
Topic: If you have requirements to attract a certain person, you need to look in the mirror, if you want to know why if aren’t attracting them. BTW, dating preferences do not make you a bigot. I’m not desperate for anyone, and do feel like I’m throwing a pity party, just being logical about it. I’m throwing out reasons why people wouldn’t to spent the rest of their life with me. Because I know these things, I have gotten ready to spend the rest of life alone and I’m used to it. Most of my problems do stem from autism and ADD, and a lack of trust with people. I also tend to have a hell with it attitude.
First, I’m never on the same page as everyone else. Some people have that charm, that flow to fit it like it’s a shape shifting ability to fit into any puzzle. I’m like this asymmetrical shape that you have to cram into any perfect shaped piece. Since I tend to be deserted by people ever since a young age, it’s like my island keeps drifting farther apart, so I end up with these alien-like beliefs and thoughts that doesn’t fit the group. Everyone can be talking about going to the club for example, and here I am staying silent because I don’t enjoy clubbing.
I’m too opinionated. I was told to try toning down my opinions, and I can’t seem to do that. I can just shut up, and not say anything, or maybe say something vague.
I analyze everything and am always reading between every line. I never understand why people do the things they do, and sometimes it doesn’t make any sense like why do I have to wave at someone I don’t know, and half the time I don’t even know if he’s even waving at me, then he has to say my name, and then I’m oh, and finally I wave back because you’re suppose to do it. Why does everyone have to follow these trends just to fit in? I makes everyone seem dishonest and fake.
I think I’m too honest for my own good, and yes I have a lied a very few times before because most of the time I was told to do so. I tend to always say what’s on my mind, always feel like I have nothing to lose. I have to have this pause for three seconds before you speak rule, so I don’t come off as crazy or rude. I really hate lying. Sorry, if I offend people. I get offended all the time, but I learn to deal with it.
I’m too negative and cynical. It’s mostly a defense mechanism to protect myself from farther hurt. It also rubbed off from my family, and now my head is screwed up.
I’m boring. My interests never seem to match others, and I end up talking about stuff that people don’t care about like statistics or this article I read the other day.
I tend to dislike sex. I won’t go down this rabbit hole on this one, but it is a major turn-off.
I’m not feminine enough. I don’t take enough care into my appearance. Women tell me that act female, but men tend to tell me that I’m not. I don’t wear make-up, it doesn’t interest me. Dunno why, and I think I look weird with it on anyway. I just practice good hygiene and stay healthy and that’s it. I like the natural look, nothing artificial. I rather be liked for what’s on the inside, but I think don’t my insides are that attractive anyway. Being liked on the inside is a nice thought, sadly it’s not how the world works.
I really bring nothing to the table. I can’t hold a job. I’m in a lot a debt. I have too many emotional problems, and no one wants damaged goods. I hate that term. I’m cringsworthy. I’m too depress, so if someone did take me. They would end up with someone that they’ll have to care of for the rest of his or her life. I don’t want to be a burden on anyone. If I can’t take care of myself how can I take care the kids, or be a housewife, which I wouldn’t enjoy being. I actually wanted to be more than a housewife, but it didn’t work out, yet I’ll probably fail as a housewife. I can’t help others, if I can’t help myself.
I probably won’t create healthy offspring. My disabilities have a chance of going to them, and then they’ll have a chance of being messed up.
Yep, too broken to be fixed.
3 comments
Nothing is entirely disqualifying for romance. I cannot claim to be there now, but after looking for 4 years I found someone. I found someone willing to deal with the jerk I can be. I never thought I would meet someone with my same sexual preferences, which is to say sometimes but not every night. Yet I did.
Was the path easy? No.
Yet until your pitch has been heard by all the active populations and you can say without a doubt they don’t want you. I calculated it once, for a young man to sort through all the available women in the world at present would take thousands of years. Therefor I narrowed my desires. For a time I used relationships as temporary satisfaction. Around the time I learned to accept being alone, I found someone better than I thought. She stuck through crisis and success with me for 4 years so far. She is kind, compassionate, and considerate. These are rare qualities. She is also independent, which has a high amount of value. I am not expected to parent her, or pay her bills. Some men are attracted to intelligent and opinionated women (so long as the opinions are open to change). Find those men. They are looking very hard.
Good! We don’t need more humans. Saw about 200 people today who made me think “really wish their genes weren’t passed down the gene pool!!!”
I don’t want to tone down my opinions for people. A lot of people are lame and don’t have any real opinions and their personality is so bland. You have an amazing personality and a lot to offer the world. If someone doesn’t like your opinions or think you should be more quiet, screw ’em.
Once upon a time, I dated more. Dating is like having a job. Always worked out hard so I didn’t look like a total slob. Had to shop for a new outfit and I hate shopping. Had to wear makeup which was a pain in the ass. I hate wearing makeup, but wanted to look my best and make a good first impression. Most of the guys were cunts anyway so the only good thing to come from dating was at least getting out of the house. We’d also go to have a good meal or a movie or a museum. Just something to do and I felt like a part of what normal people do. I’ve become worst since I stopped dating because I completely stopped caring about myself.
I just wanted a break from dating because your heart is always on the line and I’m sick of feeling used and broken just for some asshole’s advantage.
I think guys always knew I was easy to prey on. I think they’d could always since my vulnerability and need for love so they took advantage. The least I could do is not give my body to them anymore.
An ex came back into my life and I don’t think he knows how much my mental health has declined since we were together like a decade ago. He knows about my depression, but it’s gotten even worst since we dated. My anxiety has gotten worst as well. He wants to see me in the next few weeks, but I feel overwhelmed which I explained. It makes me very sad I am not the same girl he knew, not mentally anyway. I can’t handle many situations and that’s why I stay in to avoid people. I try to avoid life. Maybe seeing him will give me a chance to break out of my shell, but the anxiety alone is enough to kill me. What if he realizes I’m not who he wants anymore? Then that’s more heartache I cannot take.
I don’t want kids either, I can’t even take care of my damn self and I don’t want another human to possibly suffer from bipolar, depression, anxiety. People need one STOP reproducing!
What the fuck are you supposed to do when you are too afraid to live? You slowly fall apart piece by piece until you die or kill yourself.
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, but I relate to your entire post. XoXo