I was feeling better, until summer came. Now I am suicidal, I want to kill myself. I feel so tired, exhausted, broken, unloved, forgotten. I hate summer because it’s hot, because everyone goes out with their friends and I stay home, alone and excluded. I just want a good group of friends, I try to make friends, but I keep being excluded from everything… I am always the last one to find out things… Maybe I sound like a spoiled brat, but I had no childhood, no teenager years. Now I am 18 and I made nothing… I feel I am going to die alone.
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Are you working this summer?
I applied to some jobs but so far I had no luck. One of the shops said no and the others I am still waiting, but probably they will say no too. School here ends on 16th and they want people the soon as possible, so… I think if they wanted me they had already called me to sign a contract or something. I don’t know…
I know how you feel :/ Summer is the worst for me, along with around the holidays.
What are some things you enjoy doing? You might try to find people with similar interests, and make friends that way 🙂
Now that I think on it, “I know how you feel” is a poor choice of words – none of us really know the depth or breadth of the other’s pain. Rather, I can relate ^^;
I like that you caught that. Good going, Kitten!!!!
I enjoy writing, reading, study languages, play games. I have made an online friend that likes languages too but I can’t “find” one in real life. My therapist says that I should join a group or something, but my town is like… There is no groups here and in my class there is no one with the same tastes. And I also have a problem, I always feel that I can’t connect, if that makes sense… 🙂
I spend so much time inside with the curtains drawn, that i sometimes feel like Riddick when i have to go out into the world.
Summer makes this experience 100 times worse.
I’m not a hater or anything, but Autumn and Winter seems like a lifetime away during these months.
Even if i had a group of friends to go out with, it wouldn’t make a difference to me. Just too damm hot and bright.
I know right? I don’t have the curtains drawn, but I can relate that is hard to leave home, specially in summer. It is so hot and bright outside… I love cloudy and rain days. I am from south Portugal, so it is sunny almost all the time, but some years ago I went to UK in December and it was heaven on earth. It was cold, rainy and cloudy all the time. In the last days there was snow too!