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Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and I stood up, I couldn’t feel anything throughout my whole body, I kept telling myself in my head that I’d be fine, but I went inside and could barely walk or move it was like being extremely high whilst having a panic attack (or something like that I don’t do many drugs) I got so scared for some reason and decided that I didn’t want to die like this, I told my parents I took some pills, saying I took half as many as I actually did, out of fear of their wrath, they’re not very supportive, I wobbled around for a little while trying to gain some balance but seemed to fail worse each time I stood up, I tried to make myself throw up but nothing came out I just had a bad stomach ache, my mouth was and is super dry, and hours and hours later my skin feels numb and tingly, my parents didn’t take me in but they screamed at me more than they probably ever have, I know others have been through a lot worse, but this was the first time I’d ever tried to kill myself, and it’s nothing like I’d imagined. I’ll try again maybe in a couple weeks, but to anyone who made it through this ridiculously long post, please get help if you really feel like you want to die, save yourselves, love <3


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notwhitenorblack 6/26/2017 - 11:20 am

Depending on pills, you need to take a minimum amount to die, but it’s still mostly more than 20. Also, if you don’t crush them, the effects will be worse for you. I’m glad you got only this reaction. If you don’t take pills well, you can get everything from things you mentioned, through vomiting with blood, to crippling of organs in your body.

If someone still has hope here and wants help, I’m sure they’ll get it. Don’t worry about us, dear Folfanda. How are you feeling now?

hope432 6/26/2017 - 11:29 am

I am sorry that you tried this. I remember when I was suicidal myself, I considered overdosing.

Username123 6/27/2017 - 9:12 am

I overdosed and felt what you were describing, I would not recommend overdosing as a method. It was like you were describing but the ability to not even move was one of the most painful feelings ever. I was taken in, I didn’t want to be, wanted to just sleep it off, but what I want around here is never taken into consideration (I hate them anyways) but I would recommend shooting yourself through the brain with a cheap but reliable rifle. After I was taken in I got dialysis for fucking ever felt like I died while getting dialysis. Caught myself mouth open, eyes glazed over, middle of unconsciousness like did I just die for a second? And then when I got home I went to bed and woke up a million degrees, with my skin burning hotter than anything natural. Rolled over went back to sleep and still was on fire when i woke up, repeat- on fire again, repeat- get up freak out that I am so hot and smoke a cig and can hardly stand on two feet I feel like I wish I had 4 feet like an animal. Go back to sleep finally wake up ok the next day.

Username123 6/27/2017 - 9:15 am

I must have took 40 Hydroxyzine and 25 risperdal 90 tabs of magnesium two days before because I read that could kill you. Did not crush pills. I do now have 150% MLD of pills and extra so probably about 220% MLD.

lostsoul7 6/29/2017 - 2:10 pm

whats MLD?

Username123 6/27/2017 - 9:17 am

Am wary about overdosing again although I do have enough probably…. because of how painful….. would like the least painful way. Might take with alcohol and a antinaseu crushed up. I just have to find a place where I can’t get caught.

Milestiba 6/27/2017 - 10:07 am

Hi. Just now seeing this. Sunday was my birthday, too. The big 40. Plan was to do biggest overdose yet. But the local crisis center intervened in the last minute. I have had several failed attempts at overdosing, but I have limited access to means of suicide that I will actually try. But , when you fail, it leaves you (well me for sure) feeling even worse. And it can actually cause situations to get worse… so I also make plans for what will happen if I fail. It is too consuming… wish my mind could think ahead about moves on a chess board the way it can factor everything in for a suicide attempt. I’d be a champion!! Hahaha… but seriously… sorry you went through that. Hopefully you can find better was to help yourself through your problems and the thoughts of suicide won’t invade your mind-space. Easier said than done, but worth trying.

Happy belated birthday. Rarely here of people who share the exact same date as me. Met all of two in 40 years. Now three.

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