I wanted to cut, I actually considered it. I’m suppose to be continuing to get better and instead I am just falling back into this depressed state. I feel like a complete failure and the one person I want to talk to this about I just can’t. I feel like he will finally see me for the failure that I am and I’m not ready for that. I cry a lot and honestly death is so much more welcoming now and thats such an awful thing. I worked so hard to better myself just to end up right back here again.