I need advice. So my “best friend” has continually made plans with me just to cancel them and hang out with other people. I wouldn’t care if they wanted to hang out, I get it, but why lie to me? I’ve confronted him about it and he always says how sorry he is, but continues to do it. This last weekend we planned to hang out on Thursday. I had a dentist appointment and told him that but he still wanted to hang out. Wednesday he texted me and told me we couldn’t hang, so I said that’s alright, but asked him if he wanted to hang out on Saturday instead. He agreed, but then on Thursday night, until Friday night, he was sending me pictures and videos of him hanging out with his other friends on Snapchat and putting them on his story for me to see. I was hurt, but decided I didn’t care because it’ll be more lit on Saturday anyways. This morning (Saturday morning) he texted me saying he had to cancel our plans because he had to work bailing hay. He just took up this one time job with the people he was hanging out with. He was my only friend and he was hanging out with someone that has betrayed me in the past. My life feels pointless without this friendship. What should I do? Every time I think about this my stomach drops and I just want to cry. And people wonder why im always sad. Thanks for any advice you have!
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4 comments
I would drop that friend if it’s causing you this much trouble, and if he comes to you eventually to talk or hang out, then it would be up to you whether to take him up on the offer, or deny him for the games he’s been playing. Pull away and let him come to you. If he does, you might be able to take it as he cares, if he doesn’t, well, was he really a friend?
Do you talk or spend time with any other friends?
It’s kind of like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown and she promises the next time she’ll let him kick it but she doesn’t.
This person is not your friend and maybe he says these things because he pities you, if he knows he’s your only friend-but perhaps he’s embarrassed by you or he really doesn’t want to hang out. Or even worse maybe he’s sadistic and enjoys yanking your chain.
Whatever the real reason, he takes you for granted and you’re really just wasting your time. There are many ways now to make new friends, the best way usually is through school/work, sometimes through shared activities or even online social sites. Just put a lot of effort into it, it takes time to cultivate a good relationship….but never be a doormat for anyone, otherwise they will treat you like dirt.
There were times I wanted to cut off all my friends, I did get rid of a lot of dead weight, losers, fake-friends, back-stabbers, etc. But after a while I realized most people are pretty rotten when you get to know them, even the ones you thought were your best friends….so I kept a group of them because you need people in your life to hang out, chat, get advice/help, go to the movies and so forth. So at some point you have to put up with some people’s imperfections, otherwise you’ll end up alone.
In the meantime hopefully you have family members you can hang out with, perhaps old contacts you can get in touch with again. It also helps to be friendly, outgoing and not to get too personal when you meet new people.
why would they censor the word c h a t? weird
My guess is it’s because there is a c-h-a-t room for suicidal people that has been advertised on this site, and they don’t want people to go there and share methods. Idk.