Well this is my hello, might as well be my goodbye. I am a teenage girl. Recently…or maybe not. 6 months ago my mom had a stroke….fell into a coma. Has been in the hospital ever since. Being a already depressed, lonely, alone, suicidal teenager..it was extremely hard on me. I was sent to live with my sister who I was not close to at all. Here no one ever cared abt how I was feeling or if i was down bc there was so much other things to worry about. My mom could not walk, talk, move, eat, and was in a coma for a while. Two months after her stroke…she was diagnosed with stage 4 incurable brain cancer and melanoma (skin cancer) given 5% change of living. And 2 months to live. this shit was so hard on me .i ran away to the ppl who i felt safe with. At the time i was an addict. (meth alcohol, weed) i od wanting to die….but as my mom always said….God is watching over me. Protecting me. sometimes i wish he wasnt. people say…it will get better. everything will be fine….what if it wont….or what if i dont want myself to be fine. what if i just want out….
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I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through and experience all of that.
If you want to be dead that is a choice only you can make, you do have the power to send yourself to an early grave if that is what you end up truly believing is what is best for you, though keep in mind pain and suffering can easily cloud our better judgement and well suicide is not a light topic…
In most cases (not all) suicidal people are looking for an escape, from pain and suffering or other experiences they are getting from life.
If you are asking yourself “what if I don’t want to be fine” chances are you most likely do want to be fine, you are just afraid of being fine, because life is scary and hard.
Suicide is scary and hard,
But death seems peaceful and easy.
Suicide and life both lead to death,
One is an early exit.
life is temporary, pain is temporary , we are temporary, death is permanent,
Experience whatever you have to experience while you can, when the time is up its up,
If it hurts too bad, reach out for help, you can ease the suffering, and things can always get better no matter how dire things might seem.
If you need someone to vent to, or just someone to generally talk with I’m here for you
Thanks Octr, your response was weirdly satisfying. Maybe because it’s the first time i ever told anyone about the way that i feel. Thanks for responding. It really showed that ppl r out there.
Life’s been harsh on you, it really can be so unforgiving sometimes, if you want to try figure out reasons to keep going or why it’s worth pushing forward I will try to help.
You’re really not alone in this and I hope this website helps you to realise that, people are out there who genuinely care and that’s hard to believe, especially when we can’t see them or they aren’t around us, but they are there.
If you want out I won’t force you to stay, but I think it’s clear at least to me you want a reason to stay if not multiple, I made a post with my contact info, if you have somewhere you want to chat I think it would be good to talk :]
Talk*
thanks..how can u reach u?
Anyway that you can really, any instant messaging you might use, anywhere that has some sort of messaging service.
I dropped my Skype,Kik Messenger,Steam,Imvu,Discord,DeviantArt, but if you have something else I’ll use it too.
Just let me know.
Sorry, I don’t have access to any of those apps now….any other way?
Like i stated it really is dependent on whatever you can use to contact me, i’ll go out of my way to use whatever method you can use, just let me know.
Do you use a computer/laptop for SuicideProject? or a mobile device?
If you have access to websites you could register at DeviantArt, Imvu, Discord. all websites with a form of messaging system. you can even use skype in outlooks emailing system. i don’t really like using emails as i never really respond to my emails, its not something i check regularly sadly, but literally any kind of website with a way to send a private/personal message will suffice.
heyyy
I swear I swear I replied here
but it wasn’t like this
it asked for my email
& once I posted it my comment disappeared
I guess it was set on private or something…
if you don’t mind…
here goes again:
I’m on a laptop. i dont have any of those, but i’m trying to get on atm
You can maybe write an email?
There must be some website you use if not.
Honestly I just try to figure out the best way for you to be able to talk with me.
yea just email…..
Send me an email at: octr.sp@outlook.com
or drop me yours and i’ll email you :]
heyyy 🙂
okay
as much as I’m not pleased with the fact that you’re on a suicide site
still
Hello & Welcome !
<3
honey, i'm so so so sorry for all what happened 🙁
I truly truly am
& I could only imagine the pain
& I know it must have been so so hard on you
but sweetness your life is worth so much more than any amount of pain or hurt
I'm also certain
that your beloved mother would never want that for you
regardless of whether or not she's conscious of it…
it is true
that no one can give you any guarantees about the future
that's sadly
how life is
there are no guarantees
but there could be
instead
"trust"
I was happy to read what you said about God
& I wish to build on that & say
instead of needing to weigh in on a guarantee
that things will get better
please try love
to weigh in on "trusting" that God loves you & has your back
He's got you
Always
True
there's pain
but He's right there with you
every step of the way
& He will never ever let go
<3
Like your dear loving mom
I remind you & pray for you
that God protects you
& watches over you
whenever & wherever you are
<3
I have lots more to say to you
& I wish that you could give me a chance
to better understand what is saddening / hurting you
to hold your hand
& walk with you through these hardships
to hug you everyday
& tell you
"it'll be okay"
<3
I pray for you
& my heart is with you
in every way
<3
I hope we could talk
& I pray that this would never be a goodbye
Big big big Hug
& lots of Love
[
& btw
my email is
farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail
]
<3
tc