Life is shit, then you die

Yesterday my boyfriend reached a new level of frustration with me. I got overwhelmed and tried to shave my head, when he restrained me I lost it a little. I don’t respond well to being restrained. I think he understands a little about my depression, because he’s been depressed. But I don’t think anyone fully understands someone else. All I think about all day is how to die. I have some hope, sometimes that it will change. But I can’t imagine getting a job I hate and going there everyday. I can’t imagine going back to school to study film. I can’t imagine life in five years. I can’t imagine one more fucking day.