Fighting for air While the demons press on

I feel like I’m stuck in this odd living limbo
Being torn between the desire to live and watch you grow
Or die and help you heal
My love for you three is pure
But my brain spoils it for you
It’s sick and decaying
Trapping me inside it as it try’s to drag me down into the pits of hell
My love is light and full of hope that flutters me to the surface of the darkness
Every harsh word and cold exchange tears a piece of the good in you away
I see the pain rise up to your faces when the darkness slips passed my lips
My heart winces in reaction to your pain
I cry for you on the inside as the anger booms throughout this body
The darkness creeps over me and it’s become so hard to fight it
I fight to hang on so you will have some sort of memory of me to call upon
But I know the memories I’m giving you are sour ones
You search my soul for something sweet
But find only bitterness
There is pain behind your eyes
And death behind mine
I imagine a day when I wake up to a soul that’s shiny and new
Where I can give you the love that I want to
Every morning when I wake up I pray that it’s today
But it never is
The darkness drives its roots of bitterness deeper and deeper into my heart the longer I stay
I know that it’s me
So please don’t ever think it’s you
And I hope some day I can find the words to say to you
Not to make it better
But to help you understand
I’m fighting for the air to stay next to you
I’m just too broken for this world