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I’m stuck in this existence

by tardis21

My first post…

So I have bipolar disorder. Unspecified type. Spent the last year constantly seeing the mental health team. Two visits in a mental hospital. One visit to hospital after my OD.

I try to be happy but I’m just not. It’s so hard to pretend. I have ran out of energy to carry it on. After the first time I OD’D, the thought of ending my life excites me. The thought of the pain ending. Physical and mental. It’s all I think about. It’s so selfish since I have children. But I don’t feel of much use to them. My partner doesn’t understand I don’t think. It’s not like I want him to either.

Felt good to get that out there.

 

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1 comment

KoneWone 8/15/2017 - 7:43 pm

It must be difficult for you trying to keep up the facade for your family. It’s not living truthfully and it can be exhausting.

Living with someone that doesn’t understand your state of health and having children to look after as well, I guess, is putting more pressure on you.

Wanting relief from your situation is understandable. Writing on here, or other sites like this, can be helpful.

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