Karla destroyed my heart, hopes, dreams & confidence so badly that I started working a song:
You told me you wanted to grow old with me,
You threw me a way like yesterday’s garbage,
You crushed my heart,
You destroyed all my dreams,
Now I cut with a knife and
it makes everything all right
You caused so much distress in my head that I can’t sleep,
Now I cut with a knife to make everything all right
I cut with a knife and it makes everything all right,
You’ve hurt me so much,
I can cut with a knife
and not feel any pain.
I’ve come to realize for one reason or another I can’t seem to kill myself. I’m beginning to question if there really is a God.
I have written a new prayer. I did borrow the beginning from an old prayer:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
And while I sleep I pray the Lord my life and soul to take.
Amen
2 comments
I know this feeling well. Cutting does make me feel good but I discovered at a young age that getting Tattoos creates the same feeling. Give it some thought.
Cutting leaves some nasty scars. When I was in the hospital due to my second suicide attempt, I saw a young girl who had scars from cutting herself from her wrist all the way up to her shoulder. Nasty stuff. Yeah, the tattoos might be a better way to go. Plus, you could express your pain in art using your body as a canvas.