When I was younger I attempted suicide many times, I obviously failed. But when I got better I read that people who try are more likely to try again and be more successful and I used to cry cause I was so scared I would try again and die. At the time I didn’t want to die and I was scared to return to how i used to be. But now I’m in this place where I’m not going to commit suicide but if somehing were to happen to me I don’t know if I would stop it or if I would try and help myself. I’m at a spot where if I die then it happens but if it doesn’t then that’s cool too. I guess I just don’t care if I live anymore but I’m not gonna go out and end it, if that makes any sense.
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3 comments
I feel that way too. I think I’ve heard it called “passive suicidal” in which if something bad happens to you that may kill you, you just go with it and let yourself die.
I’ve been trying to end my life for so long I came to terms with the stress about feeling the need to kill myself will probably kill me before I get a way to kill myself, like it’s been 11 years. I’m going to die young no matter what – I just hope it doesn’t take too long.
Same here. Just want to vanish.