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Torture

by Gnarledpoet

I’ve been in deep depression for 4 years now and I’ve attempted suicide 3 times. The first time i jumped from a bridge overlooking a ridge of water and rocks, it was about 100 feet i think. I ended up with bruised ribs, a twisted ankle and back pain for several months. The second time i overdosed on ecstasy, but one of my few remaining friends found me and got me help before i could die. The last time i tried a couple months ago with a 357 magnum, turned out it was old and the firing pin on it had been broken a while back and i ended up pulling the trigger with nothing happening and just started to cry for several hours before my best friend came home and talked with me for a while. But from all this i learned that it only takes a little to kill some but takes a lot to kill others, and having found that 100 feet is not enough even with rocks underneath, i have gained access to a rather large several story building with nothing but solid pavement at the base floor. I’ve heard of a small percentage of people surviving jumps like that but i sincerely doubt i will be one of them so I’m going to try again in the next week or two but maybe someone will come along and change my mind or maybe ill just be a coward in the end and not jump. But if not then my 4th attempt should be enough to finally end it.

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7 comments

leah_is_broken 11/20/2017 - 12:16 am

Fuck jumping was my way. I thought it had the highest rate of secess ?? Iā€™m so close to gone.
all the research and I fucked that up to
Sorry for venting on your post.

Suicidal_teen45 11/20/2017 - 2:13 pm

I intend jumping as well, did you jump and failed?

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/20/2017 - 2:34 am

Hello. Welcome to suicide project! I have not seen a post from you before so I am assuming you are new or rather new.

Users on here are very similar and have similar problems. I actually have a very adjacent problem, I was building a gun but the firing pin wouldn’t pull. I thought this would work, since I couldn’t afford a real gun. Had the buckshot and everything. I just knew it wouldn’t work. Shit. Before that I had bought a shotgun when it was taken from me (that WOULD have worked BIG TIME) then I overdosed but it wasn’t enough pills (that was a year and 9 months and then a year) since then I have collected enough pills. Decided I remembered a high cliff near where my new house is and walked 20 miles one day to get there. I get there and the cliff is high enough, but there is a platform you would land on before you really gain inertia. Wonder why that platform is there. Makes you think “natural formations” aren’t really natural. Anyway, I would be dead but my license is taken I can’t get to a cliff that is jumpable (there’s one 2 hour drive away…. I have to pay 1500$ to get my license back – and I’ve already paid them 4000$) I’d rather pay the money to a gun salesman and then a taxi off to middle of nowhere than pay to get my license back honestly. Only reason I drove before was to get away without having to kill myself. That was my only way to get away.

I’m just debating whether to overdose any day now.
Every day I wake up. I think “Am I going to end it today?”

I wish I could.

lostallhope001 11/20/2017 - 11:12 am

Was the xtc overdose painful? i am planning on a heroin overdose but I don’t want to be in too much pain

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/20/2017 - 1:59 pm

I’d like to overdose on ecstasy and alcohol because you are not supposed to mix them

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/20/2017 - 2:01 pm

But it would be good feeling until you died

rastamondo 11/29/2017 - 1:02 pm

I always figured heroin to be quick and painless, except for the needle but I’m used to needles for medical stuff. I have several handguns but I’m afraid of surviving a 9mm shot. I have enough problems without failing at suicide.

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