phantom pains from forced genital mutilation

December 10th, 2017by generic name

I was born in the late 90s in probably the second most liberal area of california.

Before I was even an hour old, my mom had my genitals mutilated. “Everyone does it”, “girls prefer it”, “it was normal then” she said, despite the western US alone having a fucking 30% circumcision rate in the year I was born, and likely that area being somewhere around 3%.

 

Almost nobody else was who wasn’t jewish when I was growing up, funny enough, everyone I wound up becoming close friends with turned out to be circumcised. All but 1 were jewish.

 

In elementary school, they made fun of me for being circumcised. People always peeked in the urinals, and they all laughed at me. I didn’t know what it meant, when I asked my mom about it, she said that they cut off a piece of skin on the penis.

I thought the thick layer of keritanization was my foreskin. She would never pay someone to strap down her own child and cut off a piece of their penis, she loved me, right?

“Oh wow, that sounds awful, thank you for not-”

I cried for an hour.

 

The pain from the head rubbing against my clothes made it so that I could never wear anything except for tight underwear.

Everyone made fun of the kids who wore tighty whiteys in middle school, and I was always one of the only ones who were circumcised. They made fun of this too.

Girls rejected me because of this. “Ewww, it looks like sandpaper, sorry… I prefer uncut”. In this year all the lying about rape shit was just starting to become ‘normal’ so I didn’t even want to take any chances, I pulled up my pants and left.

I’m 5’4, 115 lbs with an ultra baby face, I could easily pass as 14-15, 12 if I tried.

Finding girls requires them to have a fetish for guys like that, but guess what, they want a guy who’s super sensitive with a foreskin.

Not some guy with a bunch of loose skin and a hideous scar who’s fucking numb

I visited some of my family over this last week, and I found out while playing cards against humanity with them that my younger cousin wasn’t (You know the kind of cards that get played, so you can guess how it naturally got mentioned). Of course, I didn’t say anything about it though. It felt so awful to wish that he also had his human rights violated, but I just want someone else who I can relate with who isn’t 10 years older . I looked at statistics online and he had a fucking 80% chance of it happening to him in the state he was born in.

 

Nobody else was growing up unless they were jewish. It isn’t at all fair. It’s given me suicidal thoughts knowing my brain chemistry has been permanently and adversely altered, new research shows I am MORE prone to STDs because I don’t have the layer of enzymes that the foreskin has, I’ll never feel as much pleasure as a real man and nothing will ever change the fact that I have lived a fifth of my life and almost all my youth without any pleasure. I’m tired of the constant pain from the head rubbing against my clothes, I hate the fact that even if by some miracle and I get a real foreskin with all the structures, nerves, wetness and everything else that was robbed from me, I’ll never get to relive the beginning of my life with it.

I drew in from being laughed at constantly for something I literally could not control or hide. It would be different if it was just something I was born with, but knowing that this was a result of the people who were supposed to protect me’s actions.

It isn’t fair at all. Why did I have to be born with self righteous parents who tried to throw money at every problem I ever had, and in every situation wound up making them worse?

Why did I have to be born with a shitty genetic disease and have the most basic of human rights violated, while almost nobody else I know has?

 

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