a tired soul…

  January 13th, 2018 by muffnguy

life is good. caring family, good friends.

my family keeps expanding with more cute niece and nephew, my sister gonna marry this year and a very good atmosphere when there were family gatherings.

good old friends still in contact although within the whatsapp group and made new friends at college.

yeah,life is good… but im tired……

i dont even remember when the first time i felt this way, maybe since kindergarten? the thoughts about when my life gonna end always come whenever my age rose. i did think of suicidal things but my thought got held back because i didnt want my good family to receive the backlash of my action, no family will be the same old family if that shit happens.

thats why i hid it. i tried to be as normal as the other kids. learn to befriend other kids, got average score all the way to college and try to be as normal as other people. love? no, i dont want to waste anyone their time on me who keeps counting ages…

maybe 30 years to go?

im tired

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