I’m so used to going through every day feeling nothing positive. I’d say for a solid 6 months I’ve felt anger, sadness, loneliness, jealousy, hopeless. I’ve felt frozen with only negative emotions being able to course through my body. I jus want a small period of time where I feel good, reassured with myself, happy, glad I’m still here. I need some kind of sign that even though this past year and a half has been legit the hardest time of my life but that it’ll be worth it somehow, or maybe not even worth it maybe just a sign that my life won’t be like this forever. As much as I honestly don’t want to kill myself I don’t know what will happen if these next few months stay this way or somehow even get worse.. I want to wait it out. I want to die old. But realistically I can’t take being this angry and lonely anymore. I’m not myself this way. I wish I had someone there for me the way i’d be there for someone else who was in my position.
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I feel so similar it’s unsettling- I think as I withdraw in preparation for this departure I swing between numb and rage at an unsettling pace.
Wish I could give you succour but I’m afraid leaving is the only way forward.
Test
If you want someone to talk or even vent to I would be more than happy to offer that to you just throw me a message.
Kik: Octrpus
Discord: Octr#0747
Telegram: @Octrpus
Skype: live:octr.imvu
Email: octr.sp @ outlook . com
thank you so much