I am currently on a vacation, and for some reason I thought that going out a full weekend with some “friends” would be a good idea. Naturally, it wasn’t a good idea at all.
It’s been just one day, and I already feel left out. I feel really sad and I don’t want to say anything because it will ruin everyone else’s weekend. I feel I need new friends (again), but I’m positive that I will feel the same way. It’s always the same. I don’t belong anywhere. I just want to die. Like, really hard. Harder than ever before.
And for the first time, I don’t know where will I end.
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I don’t know either. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve a place in this world. There’s always ways in which I’m different than anyone around and I used to think I was born to stand out.
Now I just want to disappear.
Really making new friends is a normal thing to do, like a job, if you get tired of it you quit and find another. Really it’s better than being stuck.