Ugh. I feel like I’m falling behind everyone. Like, I used to be top of my class and now I have a D in WHAP. (AP World History). I can’t answer anything correctly and like, every time I think I know the answer and pick it I end up missing the question no matter how much I study. The AP test is Thursday and I am so so so not ready for it. I’m studying like crazy and I still think it’s not enough.
Like, I’m not even supposed to be here yet I am and then I can’t see myself next year and I can’t anymore. Like I rly just want to die. I can’t write, I can’t focus, I can’t learn, I can’t do anything right. I’m just a failure. I should just do everyone a favor and kms.
I have no friends at school and my friend from last year isn’t really my friend and I think we’re drifting so I have no friends that I can talk to and all I want to do is go back to DBT Group where I had friends and people I could talk to and relate to and I didn’t feel like I was annoying them. I think I’m annoying everyone. Like ugh. I’m just a nuisance and should just kms.
Hell. It’s either death or blood. I dunno. I’m done trying to get better.
GENDER IDENTITY STUFF
Nvm. I’m too lazy. I’ll deal with this later.
2 comments
Wow you really are even more like me now. Good luck on the AP test. I’m taking it too. I’m not sleeping tonight bc my teacher decided we are having a 124 dates quiz tomorrow and I still have calc homework English homework and that. I feel like we’d be friends in real life, I relate to alot of the stuff you’ve said. I don’t think you should kill yourself based on your success or failure because at the end of the day high school and college don’t really matter as long as you get a degree. That said I still try very hard in school. I understand the pressure. I understand what it’s like not to be able to focus due to stress. I honestly cannot be stressed about school because that extra emotion and feelings just don’t fit, if that makes sense. Deep down i know it’s how i asses my self worth. But I know I am not you you aren’t a failure. <3
Thanks. Good luck!
Ok. Thanks. I rly appreciate it and it mean’s a lot to me.