I’ve tried to solve or eleviate my problems but I can’t. I’m a failure, I’ve made a mess of everything and am a burden to my family, especially when ill. My friends don’t give a shit and fair enough (come off social media and you don’t near a word from anyone).
I can’t sleep, I don’t enjoy anything, food is tasteless. My next option in medication is antipsychotics but I refuse to take them when they will cause a whole other set of physical problems.
its my birthday tomorrow which feels like a reminder of how shit and worthless my life is, 36, what’s the point.
I’ve been in agony for weeks now. I’ve got a plan, I do struggle to have time alone in order to act on it but at some point some time will become available.
As much as I am desperate to be out of here, I’m scared it will go wrong or that it will hurt. I need that final push to get me over it now. Will death really be that painful? I read about it being quick but I don’t know if it will be.
Why are these thoughts keeping me here when the pain I am in is much greater?
(I’m being careful not to directly mention my method so as not to break the site rules)
6 comments
hey there,, congrats on having a normal username unlike most people (including me) here lmao. anyways, i am sure youre not a failure. just by already posting your thoughts and feelings on this platform, you took a step towards getting help/helping yourself. please reconsider what you want to do when you do have that time alone. im sure people out there care for you. hell, i do haha just by reading your post i connected with you over the things we have in common. message me, talk more about your issues and let people help 🙂 even if its anonymously haha bc we care about you here
So… WTH is wrong with my user name? Im sure that… There is definitely someone with a name like that… Okay there isnt, but if i could have named my self… No, i would not… Fine you win for now.
Also i know it will sound stupid, but bro, connecting to someone just because you both feel the same pain, and this from my experience, does not mean you are even similar.
As a person that never celebrates birthdays as i hate aging let me say HAPPY BIRTH DAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTH DAY TO YOU, Happy birth day, Happy birth day ,,Insert name here” , happy birth day to you.
I know that hearing an advice from someone thats 10 years younger than you, and is\was retarded will sound stupid, but here it is anyway. It sound that you give to many ,,F” about everything around you. I know that you cant just magically relax but giving a ,,F” is what stopping you. Have you tried to block out thoughts when you are in stress or hearing voices? try tuning it out with “Hmmmmmmm” in your mind. it may take a lot of practice to tune out thoughts in your mind, but it is possible to learn this chillness with out the use of weed.
Thanks wrath. I’ve never tried tuning out but maybe I could try
I think you could say the method, but you can’t go in to detail about the method.
If I end up doing it it will most likely be hanging?
Is hanging what you have in mind?
Yes hanging. I don’t think it is this quick method of losing consciousness within minutes, not for strangulation. Sometimes wonder about how strong the survival instinct would be during. I’ve got sleeping tablets that I plan on taking slightly before