I can’t tell any more if im over reacting or simply following a path that was laid out for me. I’m married , just over 13 years, and we have been through hell and back, and not all on our accounts. There’s been severe injuries, that included hospitalization and surgery. There’s been job losses, several of those and on both ends. There’s been concerns with kids and family members that included losses as well as counselling. And yet despite all of the angry and terrible things we have said and done, I still try to “fix” things. I push my emotions and feelings aside to try to raise my kids but it doesn’t matter all the hurt comes rushing back and I find myself looking for an end. I have always known my method of choice, but I keep convincing myself that I’m just being emotional. I’m tried, I’m lonely and just don’t feel that I give a dam any more. So again I ask am I over reacting?
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No I think that is an enormous amount of stress and at one time we had much more help like extended family close by. People had long term employment and more of a cushion to wether tragedy and loss. I can totally understand why u want to just give up. Iam a single woman with no kids not married and it’s even tough for me all by myself. If something bad happens I could totally end up and likely will end up destitute at some point bc I have no family or even much legit work history.
The sad thing is I have legit work history. I just got fired again from a job that I was apparently ” over qualified for”. But yet was not allowed to use these qualifications to help better their position in the industry, simply because I was declared “not a good fit any more”. Im soo tired of that excuse! I just want to know what that REALLY means. My kids have got to be embarrassed with the fact that in the last 4 years I have had 5 jobs. Before that I had long term jobs 13 yrs at one and several years at the previous places. I have been working since I was 12 and have nothing to show for it not even a house to call our own. I kept trying to set an example for my kids but now I think im just a joke.
The reality these days is less social cohesion, more financial insecurity, things were not always this way but the normal way of life has been tampered with in various ways. It’s not just because of modern life it’s deeper than that.
I think You are following a path
Thank you…… but this is some kind of path. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.