I am not sure y I continue….

Mm… curiosity? Survival instinct?

I feel like dying takes a lot of effort and it might be pretty hard even if a big part of you really wants to…

But yeah, maybe you want more out of the world, but you’re not even sure why, as it feels like you should have already reached that dead end.

I’ve had a lot of botched suicide attempts and never really knew how to kill myself… had quite a few dates in my mind on when I wanted to die though… then I kept going on anyway… I was wondering why I’m even still here…

Then if I’m really lucky, I find something that holds my interest for just a long enough time to really mean anything, but then I’m quickly back to nothing again… ugh…