my heart & brain have taken turns drowning in lidocaine

i walk around but everything around me is a blur.

i do not take in the world around me, as i want to forget i am here in the first place.

i am numb.

as if my heart & brain have taken turns drowning in lidocaine.

i am stuck in this body, caged in by the emotions of those around me.

as i know i would not be the only one dying, if i chose to break free.