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This month will be the four year anniversary of my father’s suicide. He shot himself in the head in his bedroom and I was the person to find his body. It took me awhile to tell anyone I didn’t know how to call my mom (she left to take my brother away for college that night) and tell her my older sister or my younger brother. It’s inexplicable to say the least. I just don’t know how to handle this time of year. And I hate the holidays so it kind of just rolls into it, my dad birthday is also in September. Any other suicide survivors like me on hear who have now become suicidal themselves?

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WanderingDreamer91 8/2/2018 - 9:24 pm

Yikes, that must have been pleasant to see, especially if it’s a family member. o.o And if you like your family… or even if you didn’t- er, nevermind…

What do you hate about the holidays? Too much chaos with spending snd travelling? Any relatives you dislike? Or… it feels empty?

I mean… what about the food, or presents? 😕

To be honest, I might not love holidays like Inused to but when I’m passionate, I can get kind of enthusiastic, the contrast can be a little strong for me…

Ans as for that last thing, idk, I’m not really one of those people but with the tsg there I guess they exist, but I guess we both just want to know who they are, the suicide survivors, hmmm…

AgentQ 8/2/2018 - 10:49 pm

My older brother did. I didn’t find him or anything. He hung himself in his dorm room. I remember clearly the police telling mom the news. i think she knew already as soon as he was at the door. Remember her crying in my arms.

i’ll never forget it cause while our heads where there side by side she was sobbing and i was smiling. Sadly that’s just how my mind dealt with it. i just snapped and stopped feeling emotions. Even now more than a decade later it’s something i work to get past. Just made harder that so long has past without getting those emotions out.

Not the same as losing your father but my father died shortly before i was born so he was the main older male i looked up to. which is unfortunate because he himself was not psychologically well from my moms issues and he also never knew his dad so it just kind of rolls downhill.

I won’t do that to my little brother though. if i can’t get my life together and find someone to share it with i’ll at least wait until my parents die and he’s well established in life before i check out.

but yeah

soul_pilgrim 9/25/2018 - 10:30 am

hey,
I hope you read this and I hope to be able to connect with you. I experienced the same with my mom, I would really like to contact you. I understand everything you said.

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