I think I’m starting to cope a little better. It used to be that I’d get sucked completely under and nearly destroy myself in times like this. Then I got to the point where I could just wearily plod on with life, slow and difficult as the terrain is. The tide’s come in again, and I feel like garbage swirling in the sea, but I think this is the first time I haven’t been afraid of it. I can take a step back and think “This is just a sign I need to adjust some things; I only need to stay calm and find out what they are.” I’ve never thought this before. And of course it’s still hard–so hard–to get out of bed and do things. I still want to procrastinate and just let my life fall to pieces and die, but I’m getting better.