I Want Different

  October 12th, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

I don’t want to be ‘sick’ anymore or at least well enough I can resemble the things I want to be. Who I am is not my desire.

I’d like to work but I’m beyond just pushing myself and I’ve been denied disability.

I want to be the super mom I believed in but I’m not well enough.

I want to be able to stay with my significant other and not cry or have flashbacks about things he had nothing to do with.

I want to be all love and light.

I want to be so many things but my illness stands in my way.

Most of the time I can’t even want these things, I just want to be dead. I want the pain to stop.

I’ve been suffering for over 2/3 my life and I want it to cease.

I’ve been told I won’t get better and I’ve swallowed that hard truth. I will die with this pain and illness.

That’s not what I want but it’s inevitable. I’ve done everything I can think of but I’m still this way, this sore.

Please, powers that be, hear my plea. Do not let me wake up tomorrow.

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