I thought I was getting better I thought I gave another chance at life. Here I am again feeling alone and miserable. I can’t trust anyone, no one to talk to, no one would understand. I honestly see no future for myself and I wonder what will be of me cause I don’t seem to be able to get out of this hole. I can’t do anything right. I’ve always wondered if me feeling miserable and stuck in this hell hole is due to the fact that I’m not religious. Will believing in god make me feel better, fix all my problems, if I start believing will it make me feel better about myself. I doubt it
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I understand you, I’m undergoing the same thing right now. That feeling of loneliness, that you have no one to talk to about your problems, that no one truly understands – I am experiencing all of it too. I’m religious myself and religion does help alleviate it your suffering in some way but human contact and touch is still needed if we want these feelings to go away.
Honestly, I don’t believe in God but I would provided by evidence I can’t do it based on faith I still want to die I have some trazodone I don’t know if mixing it with Benadryl and alcohol and maybe jumping in a lake would finally bring me the evidence I need to see I never asked to be born in this world I wouldn’t mind meeting a God if this God is supposedly good I don’t believe I deserve Heaven or Hell but rather Annihilation non existence in this life and non existence in the next life is probably the best thing for me I didn’t choose my genetic structure I didn’t want to be a by product of rape birth mother was raped at 12 years old I don’t know all the circumstances but I still think that I am better off dead and I know that no one here or anywhere in the world is willing to peacefully and painlessly kill me this world wasn’t meant for some of us not trying to get attention but I do want to die this world these people this life is not worth living for sure I know myself well enough I attempted suicide once and still want to die now since I have “freedom” again but what is the point in freedom if one can’t truly choose to die without consequences do really have “free will” or is it nothing more than an excuse we give ourselves in order to claim that we have dominion over our lives when in reality we all suffer from one another our species truly isn’t all good and all bad but I lived 27 years old I think I have lived long enough I just want out of this life.
Honestly, I don’t believe in God but I would provided by evidence I can’t do it based on faith I still want to die I have some trazodone I don’t know if mixing it with Benadryl and alcohol and maybe jumping in a lake would finally bring me the evidence I need to see I never asked to be born in this world I wouldn’t mind meeting a God if this God is supposedly good I don’t believe I deserve Heaven or Hell but rather Annihilation non existence in this life and non existence in the next life is probably the best thing for me I didn’t choose my genetic structure I didn’t want to be a by product of rape birth mother was raped at 12 years old I don’t know all the circumstances but I still think that I am better off dead and I know that no one here or anywhere in the world is willing to peacefully and painlessly kill me this world wasn’t meant for some of us not trying to get attention but I do want to die this world these people this life is not worth living for sure I know myself well enough I attempted suicide once and still want to die now since I have “freedom” again but what is the point in freedom if one can’t truly choose to die without consequences do we really have “free will” or is it nothing more than an excuse we give ourselves in order to claim that we have dominion over our lives when in reality we all suffer from one another or by nature sure being happy is great but what is the point of happiness when other people ruin it our species truly isn’t all good and all bad but I am 27 years old I think I have lived long enough I just want out of this life.
I am sorry for wasting anyone else’s time if they even bothered reading this but honestly just kill me this mind and body is ultimately the worst what am I going to do in this world I am not interested in killing someone but I am more or less interested in being dead kill me just do it but I know no one will I guess I have to try to attempt suicide I try to commit suicide this world really isn’t worth living sure I practically get everything I want but I am also used to being miserable for everyone’s happiness sure I should try to be happy for myself but what is the point; which, I probably don’t deserve SSDI, family, friends, my existence, and the truth is the people are just as selfish as I am they won’t even let me die or help me do it even within reason or legals or ethic sure I reap what I sow and now I need out of this
To answer your question honestly I’d have to say no. I believe in god, yet it doesn’t make any difference for me at all.