I have less than two month to move out. Evicted. I have a crazy neighbor that’s been bullying me for years, I finally went off the deep end. I’m lucky I haven’t been arrested, but I’m definitely kicked out of the building.
Got news today that my grandmother on father’s side passed away. I was never that close to my father’s side of the family. or my father, but we’ve been trying to reconnect. I remember she used to give me christmas ornaments every year when I was a kid. They were pretty cool.
My emotions are scattered. One minute I feel up to the challenge, the next I feel like giving up, but life is an adventure, it goes on.
I’m in better shape than I was a couple weeks ago when I found this page. It’s a good place to be completely honest. I’ve been in emotional and psychological pain my whole life. I think most of us suicidal ideation want the pain to stop a lot more than we want to die.
If I were to kill myself, I would be robbing myself of that opportunity to eventually find peace. It’s out there somewhere, sometimes in the form of a piece of music or a good meal. Maybe someday I can find it in my home, maybe even a job.
I just have such a hard time getting along with people, but that’s another story.