i don’t want this life

  January 4th, 2019 by viola

paperwork. paperwork. paperwork.

life’s full of it and that’s absolute bullshit.

i just want to sleep forever and not have to work.

i absolutely hate being in groupwork, but sadly, life says that if you don’t want to collaborate, you’re not going to do well in life – you’ll be a failure. Your life will be miserable.

i don’t want…to carry the expectations of people and i sure as hell don’t want to disappoint them. which is hard, especially in my school.

teachers say it’s okay to fail but what if you fail the expectations of your groupmates? your classmates? your friends? and then they’ll all go grumpy and mad and i just want to shut everyone off.

i absolutely hate conflict and i don’t know how to stomach it since life’s full of it. god, is there any way to help me get out of this hell?

honestly, i just want to live as a shut-in, away from the world, probably my companions being my books, my journals, my games, the internet, and my art supplies.

it’s so hard to live…so hard…i just want my life to end.

but i can’t exactly do that, not in the mood right now.

maybe i will be, eventually? soon? never? who knows.

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