So here I am again. Same old lame things. Depression, anxiety. But this week I’ve had a very special guest in my life: rejection.
It’s not that we hadn’t met before. Oh no, we’ve always been pretty close. But this week we really connected.
Being the weirdo doesn’t really get along with depression and anxiety. Specially when you’re the only girl at work who wasn’t invited to the farewell party. Feeling 15? Well I am 25 and this is still hitting hard.
Friend stood me up and made it pretty clear that she doesn’t really care about me.
Crush has been making my life even more miserable for the 4 1/2 years since I met him.
My professional life is doomed, I don’t see myself accomplishing big things or having big promotions. I am mediocre and that is a fact. I’ll never be outstanding and no one expects me to be.
But living in a world so competitive, seeing my brothers do all these amazing things and being in steady relationships makes me question if a gene didn’t work for me the way it did for them.
Anyway, is not that they care about me.
Maybe they’ll cry when I do it. When I kill myself.
And maybe…that’ll be my biggest accomplishment.