Lately I’ve started to lose myself an everything I had always believed in. Like, I truely don’t know where my head is at anymore… And at the rate I’m going, I’m not only hurting myself, but also those around me. If I didn’t already hate myself enough before, I certainly have more reasons to now. People are telling me I’m changing and I don’t know how to feel or act about, I’m just lost.
I was already on the verge of death recently and had started to find no joy in anything I do anymore. I had been ditching school a fair bit the past month and my mum found out. Her, my dad and step dad had a big talk to me about everything and honestly I was ready to scream “I fucking hate myself, I hate it here in this house and in this world”. But I didn’t. Instead take what they are disappointedly saying to me… I have to have a meeting with my school counsellor, my year level leader and my parents on Thursday and I am not at all ready for it. On top of all this, I got a message from my boss saying I need to speak with her and I may be losing my job. I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing with myself anymore and it’s all catching up to me. I can’t handle feeling this way. Feeling so empty, unhappy and completely lost.