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Help me

by Alumina

I’m so scared. No I’m horrified, I need help. I burst out in a fit of anger and I was just so mad.. I can’t do this. Everything I do fails. Every time I’m finally happy it all come crumbling down. I don’t want to live like this. I can’t live like this. I scared my roommate. I scared myself. All because of some man next door. I work in a place where I’m abused and degraded every day. I come back to a house that I can’t even call home. I try and I try and I just can’t anymore. I know I’ll be judged. I know I’ll be forgotten. But my life is meaningless. All I am is a 20 year old that got dealt a shit hand and is ready to fold. I’m done with bluffing my way through life. I’ve got nothing and no one. I’m not smart, I dropped out of high school and tafe. I tried uni but I always give up. I’m not pretty nor even healthy. There’s a difference between living and existing. Maybe I should just tell all. Get everything I’ve bottled up out in the open. Write it down so for whoever finds me they know why the have to clean up that mess. Or maybe it’s a waste of time, besides who would even care

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3 comments

shatterediris 6/10/2019 - 7:31 am

Why can’t you call your house home?

also being angry is okay, the neighbor was probably a jerk.

I’m sorry.

wtfwaitomg 6/10/2019 - 9:37 am

im sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. god bless u! just know that good things happen to those who wait — wait it out! win! persevere! whats wrong with bluffing your way through life if youre one hell of a bluffer? no matter what you think, you’re more amazing than you think. how do i know? the fact that you kept going despite feeling horrified says a lot. you’re a superstar babe ~

rocketman 6/10/2019 - 10:59 am

For a person that’s say’s they’re not smart you sure a great communicator! I know to many people who have dropped out of school and carved wonderful careers for themselves with their common sense and being in a predicament doesn’t make you stupid anyone can make a bad decision not knowing all the facts or by being fooled or tricked or circumstances changing.

I do know what you’re talking about being around the wrong kind of people can make you miserable, I’ve been there and done that too! I really relate with the neighbor thing as well that really is a killer! after working your home is a place where you can find peace and feel happy, unfortunately that also is an uncontrollable thing in most cases, unless you live in the middle of nowhere, the house across the street is a rental they had terrible people in it , they just moved I’m happy they are gone, I’m hoping the new renters will be better people. I know this is easier said than done, if the work place is a rotten place start looking for a better place I’ve done that too, also think about a better place to move too, I’ve done that as well, it really sucks and happens to most people, but by keeping your eyes open instead of feeling trapped can result in great outcomes you never knew existed.

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