I’ve come to learn im addicted to love. Without it I see no purpose in my life and have absolutely no motivation to continue. There’s one person in particular who has dictated much of my life the past 4 years. I would drop dead just to be with him although he claims he feels the same, he doesn’t. He’s more individualistic while I thrive on relations and having someone be my person. When we call it quits I try to move on and the one time I successfully found another person I genuinely liked. Our timing was off but I still felt so deeply for him and would’ve tried anyway to make it work. If things got serious I would’ve eventually dropped everything for him too. This need of mine is obviously a self destructive one. Relying on others for your own happiness rarely ends in something great but I don’t know how to stop this. Once I got a taste of love I didn’t want to stop tasting it.
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Can relate. Wonder whether the idea of “loving yourself” and being happily single is a cultural bug of modern Western individualism.
On the one hand, sure, relationships can be stifling, partners can be annoying and needy, and it’s probably advantageous to like yourself. On the other hand, would anyone ever tell an animal that it didn’t need a mate, and to enjoy singledom?
Maybe the point is you shouldn’t settle for just anyone, but at the same time, it is sort of natural to rely on other members of your species to get many of your needs met. Not just for intimacy and romantic love, but also just for friendship and support.
On another note, was picturing lions writing this. Then realised that’s in your username. Funny how the subconscious works.
thank you that actually makes a lot of sense. I often do think it is a part of western society, which relies heavily on being an individual and being single and working for your own dreams, whereas other cultures around the world are actually more community based. A lot of pressure is put on working together as a society for the society. It is very natural for us to want mates and crave that affection. I think my problem may be waiting for the right one because I would’ve loved its to work with my first love..
Love is like a fire. It will only continue if you feed it. But it will die if you smother it and take away all the oxygen.