I really do wonder every single day why my life is so pointless compared to the lives of others around me. They have a purpose and see a future. I have no purpose and I just live in the moment to just get to the next moment because the future is simply nonexistent for me.
It is so damned depressing to be working at my age and realize that I will never have enough money to stop working. Every time I make a bit extra, an expense happens (hot water heater, for example), and it is gone. I used to have a bit of money saved for retirement, but then I was unemployed for 8 months and it all disappeared. That sandwich costs an hour of work, gas in my car is two hours of work. Everything is measured by the time to earn that expense. Every dime goes to paying the bills and keeping afloat. The Millenials that I work with always seem to have money for cars, kids, vacations, and toys and have interesting lives with hobbies and friends. I envy every one of them their slender, fit, strong beauty and vitality. I never had any of that. I am and always have been ugly, fat, old and apathetic about everything. Every day it hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, it hurts to stand. My body is worn out from working hard for the last 50 years. My only respite is to sleep. Oh, I long for sleep every day, all day. That is the only thing I want. The endless sleep of the dead.
1 comment
That’s totally unfair that where u live there’s no state assistance. Where I live Ireland once u reach 66 you automatically get a state pension of 240 euro a week for the rest of your life, not sure what that is in dollars, you’ve worked 50 years so u have earned a rest. Don’t pay any attention to those millennials u mention, they’re probably full of shit about how perfect their lives are. I hope u can put a bit of money by.