I’m starting to get bad again. But this time it’s different, I don’t feel anything. It’s like my mind just shut itself off and I don’t know how to turn it back on. I get so overwhelmed with not being capable of the things I should be doing like, hanging out with friends, going to work, going to school. I push myself to do the needs of school and work. But I feel like I’m floating outside of my body looking down thinking what in the hell am I doing? What’s the point? And it’s starting to truly scare me I’ve never felt this empty in my life.
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Welcome to the family.
You’re officially a real human being, not a positivist, koolaid drinking, happy machine.
Here’s my advice. And it’s not “good” advice, but it’s good advice. Do what you want. Start breaking little rules. Why not? Cut a class, see what happens. Don’t do homework one night. See what happens.
You’ll find out that it’s all a charade, a sham. Once you feel that, you can live any life you want without fear or being chained to the empty wheel.