I’ve been watching a lot of videos about the movie Us. It’s been out for a year or so, so I don’t think I need to explain the premise. But without giving too much away, it’s about this family that is stalked by their doppelgangers, known as the tethered. It’s actually a cool premise, and I’d recommend watching it if you haven’t already. That said, I feel like my suicidal tendencies have ruined this movie for me.
For the longest time I’ve wished for someone to take my place. I realize my family would be devastated if I ever decided to off myself. I can’t even lie to myself about that anymore. Every since I started highschool, I imagined just having some less fortunate orphan kid take my place. I thought of writing a suicide note to my parents telling them to adopt a kid and give her all the things I owned in life and to treat her like their own. You know, to give it to someone who probably deserved it more than me. But I realize that was immature of me. Even if that were my final wish, they’d never be able to replace me in their minds. No matter how much better their new child would be. (God, even if it’s true, thinking that makes me feel so egotistical. I feel nasty thinking that.)
But if I could just make a deal my doppelganger and have her become me for me, I wouldn’t have to worry about that. I could just go off, jump off a bridge, and just disappear. No one would even have to know I died. As far as my parents know, I hit my head and got amnesia or something. Then afterwards, life could just go on as normal. And she could be happy. Hot meals, nice clothes, a warm bed: everything I feel as though I don’t deserve. That’d probably make her day. Hell, it’d make her whole damn life. She’d probably make a better me than I would anyway. If I can’t be happy with such a good life, I should at least give it to someone who could appreciate it.
But again, it’s just a movie. No point asking the what-ifs of a fictional situation.